Private Possession
by Truble
Summary: In that one split second when you wait for your desired weapon to take your last breath, you wonder, wonder what it would be like if you stayed behind, if you fought your demons, if you fought death. OneShot


Aight people, for all those who are reading a fic of mine for the first time I would like to say Hiya! Lol, errrrrrr, please make sure to check out the rest of the things I have written. I would also like to say that I hope you enjoy this fic and find it worthy of a review. Heh.

Okay for all those who have read one or more of my other fics I would like to say THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! Really appreciated that you stick around with me. I am really proud of this beginning, I have been trying to write and Inuyasha fic for ages but I never was happy with what I wrote, I have at least eight different beginnings on my computer. lol.

Er...

I have put this up before but I took it down because I wasn't happy with how it turned out, but I really like this beginning so fuck it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha though I wish I did, all I ownis plot.

ENJOY!

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**Private Possession**

_Countries, lands, people, feelings, memories and lives can pass you by in the blink of an eye if you let them. You could look outside your window one day and decide you have had enough, it doesn't take a lot, some pills, a knife or even any old domestic product and the last thing you will see is the face of that one person who put you there. There may have been others, but that one person stands out from the rest…_

Two pairs of golden orbs looked out at the sea of bodies in front of him, behind him, beside him, but never with him…

_But that would be the coward's way out._

He looked up at the grey-coated sky, his mind racing with thoughts as the harsh fall of rain fell upon him, with questions. Questions why…

_Life is one thing that can't be given back once it's lost. And only cowards run from their problems, run right where their problems will never get them. Maybe that way people would be happier, die when they like with no one around to mourn for them, to cry because they would never see them again._

He told himself he wouldn't cry, he refused to cry. As much as he loved her, he wouldn't cry, he would be strong, for her or maybe more for himself. Why? Why would she do this? Rain poured down on his face but he didn't care, the demons and humans around him were all dressed in black, their mourning faces covered by umbrellas. He alone stood visible to the world, his face showing the only pain, he, the only demon, the only man, truly cared for her…

_And in that one split second when you wait for your desired weapon to take your last breath, you wonder, wonder what it would be like if you stayed behind, if you fought your demons, if you fought death. I guess its just a fools guess to know what it feels like, none of us are dead yet, most of us aren't ready to say goodbye yet, but we sit around and listen to the stories of fools anyway. Stories like that get you thinking about things you shouldn't, death is something that will happen, like it or not it's inevitable, so why live your life scared when you can think about it when you're there, on your death bed, and soak up ever droplet of fun you can in the mean time._

He thought she loved him, she said it often enough. The demon's mind raced over all the memories of her, the good, the bad and the out right impossible. She had stuck with himthrough every decision he made, that is, until now…

_But for all those who live at this very moment, with members of their families gone because they were too selfish to stick around and live life to the full, well, all we can do is pray that we can do what they couldn't. Memories are simple things, you either remember or forget, but in some situations, you forget what you want to remember, and in some, you remember something you want to desperately forget._

He turned, not able to look at the grey body of the second woman he loved and lost, why did it always happen to him? His amber orbs held such pain that none around him dared to stop him when he began to walk away. He wasn't sure where he was going, he didn't care, he was alone…

_Memories are the things that stay with you to the end, if you have plenty or a few, it does not matter. As many people say, it's not the quantity but the quality. But what if all your memories are a lie, could you live with that? Could you remember your loved one in the same way, knowing, KNOWING, that in all your time with them they have been lying to your face?_

He stopped, mind blurring but eyes as focused as ever, he turned once more, the face of the young woman haunting him already, though her grave was fresh. Where would he go without her? What would he do without her? Sango and Miroku were gone to raise a family… probably the reason Inuyasha and Kagome were here, both of them.

"Kagome…" Inuyasha breathed out her name in much less then a whisper.

The mourning bodies around looked upon him with clear pity in their eyes, he never asked for pity, he never asked for them to be here either. He wouldn't have cared if they weren't here at all, all of them. He wanted it to just be her and him, like it always was. They never needed anyone before so why were all these people here now?

_You slip into an unconsciousness you barely know you're in, but something inside you dies. It's worse when its family rather then a friend, but it's even worse when it's a partner. What if the person you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with was gone… gone where you will never see them, hear them, touch them and worse… love them._

_Love…_

_Four letter word that can mean one thing to one person and something completely different to the next. But love in all terms is a person, or animal even, that you can show affection to or for them to know that you do. How can you love someone who has betrayed you, who has loved and left you? No warning, no letter, no tape, not one word that would tell you they thought about you before they went. And what's even worse, they leave you out of their own free will, knowing that you haven't done enough, loved them enough to keep them with you._

Sango and Miroku loved each other to the end, the very end. Inuyasha almost laughed at how ironic it was. They would have never met if it wasn't for him and Kagome, if it wasn't for the bond he and her entwined between each other to see the same path, the same direction. But…

A single tear rolled down his pale cheek, his eyes shut with force holding back any that would follow, quickly wiping away the stray with the back of his hand.

… They didn't see the same path or direction; Inuyasha's path would never end up here, in a graveyard, in the feudal era, in a life that he was lost in, in a life where she would never grace him with her presence. They had fought so hard to live in the feudal era in peace, to allow demons to live side by side with humans, but he couldn't celebrate.

_That's when he cracked, gave up, saw nothing more then the pain of life without her. He couldn't stand knowing another of the women he loved died and he wouldn't, he done what any normal, pain filled hanyou would do. He ran…_

He pushed through the many people who were listening to the drone of the priest at the centre of the service, not one word reaching the sensitive ears of the half demon. His arm caught by another, with barely enough time to stop himself from falling he looked up to find deep mahogany eyes, the eyes of another man that had fallen in love with the creature that left them.

"Kouga…" Inuyasha croaked, desperately trying to hide his feelings from the world.

"Inuyasha," Kouga muttered barely managing to keep eye contact with the hanyou, his own heart had been seared in two. He knew that Kagome would forever be in love with the dog half demon, he had gotten used to that, even found a new mate, one that adored him back. But that deep love in his heart had never disappeared, he would often go around to see her, check if everything was okay, to even annoy Inuyasha, knowing that was as far as he could show his truefeelings of hatredtowards him.

He often dreamed that this would happen, but instead of Kagome in that grave it would be the half demon in front of him. He had a very violent imagination, one where he thought with Inuyasha's death he could make Kagome his, but deep down, he knew even that wouldn't change anything.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled the next two words, Inuyasha barely heard them over the crying of women, but he heard them. The words registered in his mind and he instantly felt sick. Sorry? SORRY? As if that could bring her back to him! But Inuyasha didn't have the heart, patience or will to say any of that. He just yanked his arm free from Kouga's grip, moving on through the crowd, not caring who he knocked over or pushed.

Growling angrily he raised his silver covered head, realising he had reached the end of the crowd he seemed to only then notice thesmall kitsunewas alive still.

Shippo, he had forgotten about him.

Kagome was the one that always took care of him, she was the one that fed him, played with him and comforted him. She alone was the one the small kitsune kept close to his heart. Inuyasha was there too, but not quite as close as Kagome or Sango, even Miroku.

"Inuyasha?" The small demon asked, Inuyasha let his eyes fall once more on him trying to figure out what to do. Should he take him along? He couldn't, not without her.

"Go find Kaede," Inuyasha ordered, his voice was soar and forced, but the kitsune understood.

"I want to go with you," He said in that small voice of his, the cat, Kirara, meowed in agreement beside him, but Inuyasha wasn't listening anymore. With one swift leap he was in the tree behind Shippo, rain running down his hair to his face, and some was dripping down his nose. He leaped again, dodging branches that came his way and falling back to the ground in a swift sprint.

The last Shippo would see of Inuyasha would be this moment of his retreating form, disappearing into the heavy rain, and abandoning him like his lady…

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Well what do you think folks? Its only a test try out, probably not a very good one but I thought it was good enough for you to decide. Anyway PLZ review and tell me what you think. To be honest I don't like Inu x Kagome pairings, I don't hate them but I just think its too obvious.

Aight, THANKS FOR READIN!

CYA!

Ti


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